5,4,3,2,1 - Let's fly!
Today hasn't been too bad at all. Despite the second day of the conference being rather boring and most, if not all of us delegates declared it as a 'steaming pile of dog turd', I'm feeling quite positive as my counsellor replied to my email, apologising and saying she thought I was on holiday this week, not next week. It's really hammered home to me how much I depend on talking to her at the moment, especially at the moment, with everything going on in my head.
As usual, my Boyfriend was amazing and just let me cry last night when I was upset, however it's nice to be able to say what I feel, without the worry of being judged or run the risk of saying something that affects my relationship.
I'm getting more 'OK' about being pregnant as it's now been 8 days since I found out. I'm also thinking that this is my pregnancy, not anyone elses - therefore if I don't want it to be all sunshine and flowers and 'happy' stuff, then I don't have to feel like that. As long as I do the best I can and also don't force myself to do things I'm not happy about doing (like a vaginal birth), then sod anyone else judging me. One thing that I did see today was this advert which basically seems to be saying that you could harm your baby if you've got a poor diet.
It made me really anxious and in some ways quite trapped - after all, what if I fancy a burger in a couple of days? What if I fancy drinking a can of diet coke every so often? I can appreciate if you only ate junk food then there may be vitamin and mineral deficiencies, but every so often? Hrmmm...
However, as I am really paranoid and anxious about what I'm eating at the moment so seeing adverts like that aren't really helping.
Today I had a slice of malt loaf for breakfast and as I was still at the conference, I had 3 mini sandwiches and some crisps for lunch. We had 2 coffee breaks and whilst I steered clear of the coffee / tea, I did munch on a biscuit on each break. Thankfully I was able to leave by 4:00pm, so I got back just after 5 and set to work on packing my suitcase and sorting things out for my holiday to Mexico tomorrow. I also started on dinner as tonight my Boyfriend has come round, ready to watch The Great British Bake Off! Tonight we had a marinated BBQ chicken breast with rosemary roasted potatoes and a LOT of veg. It looks a lot of food, but I think I tend to eat my main meal in the evening as it gives me 'something to look forward to' throughout the day.
It was rather nice, however as I was steaming the veg, the broccoli was rather 'al dente' as I totally forgot that the veg at the top of the steamer doesn't cook as quickly! Ah well, no harm done :-)
I'm flying to Mexico tomorrow and whilst I'm going to try and relax, I want to still write some blog post as I think it's helpful for me to think about how my mood is doing and also, what I'm eating.
Stay tuned for a lot of weird Mexican food in the next 10 days! :-)