Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Super Tuesday

3 days to go and counting

Breakfast: Oats so simple Golden Syrup porridge pot
Lunch: 2/3rd of a carton of Covent Garden vegetable soup
Dinner: Marks and Spencers gammon, 1/2 tin of beans with steamed new potatoes with a teaspoon of butter.
Snack: No snacks today

No matter what happens for the rest of the day, my proudest achievement today is the fact I slept for 7 hours straight through last night. This hasn't happened in months, and I really hope it continues as I've been feeling really, really fantastic today. One thing I've noticed is that when I eat junk food, I wake up a lot during the night whether I'm stressed or not. Once I start eating more healthily, I find my sleep is much less disturbed in general.

Despite working from home, my morning was rather busy as lots of friends decided to phone / text and email me. It was odd that they all decided to get in contact at once, but I'm not complaining as it's always nice to hear from them and I really appreciate all their support at the moment. Once I'd had my porridge and spoken / replied to everyone, I decided to embark on a mission: Clean out my kitchen cupboard. Hardly the most thrilling of tasks, however I hate just sitting around, not doing anything and I'm trying to throw as much stuff out as possible, so when I move with my Boyfriend next year - there's less stuff to chuck out and do...

Rather than get stuck in the rush that is 'Lunch time supermarket fun', I toddled off to Tescos mid-morning and decided I'd try something new for lunch - I used to eat a lot of soup, however haven't had it since I had my wisdom tooth operation in early January - I was a little bit 'souped out', living off it for at least a week whilst my mouth healed. I have made soup before, however as I live on my own, even if I half the portions, I still have to put a lot of it in the fridge or freezer and as I change my mind quite a lot in regards to what I want to eat, I know that I won't use it up and eventually, there's a big chance it will end up in the bin. Hence why I decided to buy it :-)

I've had a lot of Covent Garden soups - Apart from anything tomato based, as tomato soup is literally, my number 1 food hate. I can't even stomach the smell of it, it makes me want to wretch (mini cheddars and celery are at positions 2 and 3 on the list). I tend to prefer the chicken / creamy soups, however as I'm eating healthy, I opted for the vegetable soup, which has chunky vegetables in it - as I don't want to eat lots of bread with my soup (or any bread, to be honest), I prefer chunky soups and whilst I can't eat a whole bowl, I do tend to eat more than 1/2 a carton - However as it's not high in either fat or calories, I just listened to my body and stopped eating when I felt full.

After lunch, I decided I'd continue my productive streak by cleaning the bathroom and doing all of my washing - Hardly exciting, but until next week, I'm still technically 'working', so can't gallivant off round the countryside... I then decided to watch 'Phantom of the Opera', the film that was done in 2004 with Gerard Butler. I'm sure it's just my sister and I, however Raul (her love interest) seems to be a misogynistic, controlling idiot who doesn't actually listen to what she's saying - Sure, the Phantom has a few 'issues', but who doesn't? We both think Christine Daa'er would be better off with the Dude in the mask, than Raul the idiot...

God, I can't wait for garden leave to start - Means I can get out the house more!

As it's a Tuesday, I had my counselling session and today we talked about pregnancy. I think I mentioned that I started seeing a private counsellor in October 2014 as I had my wisdom tooth operation due in January 2015 and I am severely needle-phobic following an incident that happened to me when I was 4 years old. Thanks to Mary, my counsellor, I went through with the operation (despite a massive panic attack as they changed the goal posts), however I still have major, major issues around medical professionals and people exercising control over my body.

Once I've settled into my new job and my Boyfriend and I have bought a house, I really want to start a family and for someone like me (read: total control freak) I need to plan, plan, plan stuff - and pregnancy has always totally terrified me, especially the labour part of it. Seeing my sister, 2.5 years ago going through the most horrendous labour ever has not made my fears any easier and at the moment, all I want to do is get a confirmation that I can have a C-section. 

I won't go into massive details as I tend to take a few days to actually process what I spoke about with Mary, however it was really good to speak about my fears in regards to being pregnant and my body being 'public property' and having Doctors tell me what to do - something I just can't allow to happen... 

Dinner tonight was half a gammon joint (the other half is currently in the fridge) with half a tin of baked beans and some steamed new potatoes. All in all, it was very tasty and didn't take too long to do. I really like gammon and I seem to have eaten a whole lot of fish recently, so it was nice to have a change. I'm now really stuffed and am sat on the sofa, watching Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners and sympathising with them about the state of some people's houses... 

Tomorrow is the penultimate day in the office - despite my Boss no doubt being in, I'm sure it will go OK.. I just need to think of stuff to keep me occupied for 8 hours!

Fingers crossed I'll get another good nights sleep :-)

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